As my child is learning to express his wonderful emotions, (And I say wonderful, as emotions are a feedback system our bodies give us, to tell us how in alignment we are with the events in our lives. If we’re experiencing good emotions, all is well. Negative emotions tell us something in our environment needs to change) I’m learning to negotiate the waves of toddler meltdowns.

After trying unsuccesfully to push against the little dynamo, my partner and I discovered a tactic that has brought our household peace.

We parent towards the positive.

This means, very simply, anticipating his needs, and wants before he has a chance to become frustrated. We actively listen to him, learn from him, begin to expand our communication with him both ways, and respect him as a little person. Not a toddler who is trying to manipulate us.

When a situation arises that we can’t agree on, we seek a win:win resolution. Obviously there are some boundaries that we can’t allow him to cross, to keep him safe. But he can generally be negotiated away from a power point, with the lure of creating a painting, or playing blocks.

The trick is the win:win. If you’re happy, and he’s happy – what does it matter if parenting books, or nay-sayers think.

A happy, safe, healthy todder will have a good sense of self esteem, and confidence in themselves. And quite frankly, that is far more fun than a time out room, tears and the naughty step.