Discovering our Son, has been such a privelege to us. And we were lucky to have learnt early on in the journey, just how much easier it is to “parent” through the night, rather than letting him “cry it out”.

We began our journey, breastfeeding on demand, and allowing him to set the time schedule, fully expecting, for the first few months at least, to feed through the night, and go without sleep ourselves quite a bit. As he got a bit older, the pressure from others around us began to mount. “He’s 10 weeks old now, he ought to be dropping his night feeds”
“you’re creating a rod for your own back if you go to him everytime he cries”

“Babies learn very quickly to depend on the breast if you feed them all the time”

Luckily, my husband’s common sense prevailed, and he reminded me that our son, is not a manipulative little monster, who is out to trick his mother into tending to his needs – rather he’s a brand new human being, who needs attention, affection, and a lot of patience, as we get to know him.

So we plodded along. Some nights, the little one would sleep 12 hours straight, others he’d wake and require a nurse and a cuddle.

My son is now 14 months old, and for the most part, he loves his sleep. And rather than having a dependent, and manipulative little boy – we’ve been rewarded with a secure, and assertive little creature, who loves his bedtime in the evening. No tears, no worries, no problems.

If he wakes at night, we go straight to him. It’s dark, and there are scary shadows, and quite frankly, If I’d woken up from a bad dream, i’d want someone to cuddle me.  Quite often he sneaks in for a sleep with his mummy, and we all get a peaceful night. More often than not, I don’t remember if I’ve been up and down, it’s simply a matter of snuggling up together, and if he wants to go back to his own bed, I retuck him in!

I’m not a sleep deprived,  bleary eyed mum, I’m an energetic, 5 month pregnant, mother, who is eternally grateful for responding to her son’s cues. 

That’s our story – but what does nighttime parenting mean to the average parent.

• Babies don’t wear watches, and even those that do, don’t know how to use them. Time is an adult concept, and quite frankly, it’s not something that gels well with babies. They work to schedules of “I’m hungry, I’m scared, and I need attention” Therefore, parenting doesn’t end at 7pm
• Ignoring a crying, scared child, is counter-productive. All you are teaching them, is that they can’t depend on you to fulfil their needs. From experience, ignoring a child means A) They cry louder, or give in. Giving in, in my opinion, is heartbreaking.

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